HomeMy WebLinkAboutRe_Bullying Issue_BU10 Burton 21
Jill Theriot
From:Terry Olsen <terry@citysclakeelsinore.com>
Sent:Wednesday, October 4, 2023 7:38 AM
To: jonathan@theluxhillsgang.com
Cc:Kelly Ayoub; kim@lakeelsinorechamber.com; Justin Harding
Subject:Re: Bullying Issue - BU10 Burton
Thank you for the email.
I want to thank you for reaching out regarding your son and his experience with his
recreational soccer team.
I have cc'd our Director of Recreational Soccer, Ms. Kelly Ayoub, Coach Mike Burton,
President of the Lake Elsinore Valley Chamber of Commerce, Mr. Kim Joseph Cousins,
and City of Lake Elsinore Community Service Coordinator, Mr. Justin Harding.
As I stated in my email response to you when you initially reached out and informed us
of an issue on the team, I take this very seriously and this is an important matter to me
personally and to the organization.
Issues among 9-year old children is not an unusual thing in life nor on a recreational
soccer team. Generally, these are swiftly dealt with by the team coach in partnership
with the parents and a resolution follows. In matters where bullying is suggested, we
follow detailed organizational guidelines in conjunction with guidelines from the
U.S. Center for SafeSport.
I understand you feel our response was inadequate, but I will need to challenge you on
that, Mr. Davy. The organizational response in this matter was swift, detailed, and came
with a plan of action. For a plan to work, one needs willing participants.
Rather than meet our engagement and attempt to help your 9-year old son sort out his
issues on his rec soccer team, you are instead attempting to frivolously disparage our
organization, our staff, and the volunteer coach. Respectfully, I cannot and will not let
you do that.
I want to create a record of communication in lieu of your serious charges and, may I
add, eyebrow raising threats.
1) Your first email this season, which had no mention of bullying, but in which you
wanted to switch teams after the season had started.
On Thu, Aug 31, 2023 at 5:06 PM jonathan davy < wrote:
Hi Kelly,
This situation with practice is terrible that we are dealing with. Why Burton is combining his teams in practice is beyond me. He’s not giving
the time he needs to give to the boys. Matthew is miserable and it’s only his 2nd year. Last year we played with Joel Ramos and we tried to
get him to continue with Joel because Joel was a great coach and was able to get Matthew excited about soccer. Now we’re dealing with
Matthew not wanting to play anymore. Is Joel still coaching and can he move teams?
I’m not sure what to do but so far I’m not impressed and I’m trying to stay quiet.
2
Jonathan Davy
2) Your second email this fall, which was a response to a reply by Kelly:
On Thu, Aug 31, 2023 at 5:14 PM jonathan davy < wrote:
Thank you Kelly.
My intention is not to cause a stir within the league.
I’m just looking out for my son’s growth within the sport. I’m happy he found something he loves.
Thanks,
Jonathan Davy
3) Your third email, in which you first mentioned bullying (Sep 25):
From: jonathan davy <
Date: Mon, Sep 25, 2023 at 6:08 PM
To: Kelly Ayoub <kelly@cityrecsoccer.com>
So I guess he’s stuck on this team?
Kelly, they’re all friends and have played together before and they treat Matthew terribly because it’s only his 2nd year. These kids are only 9
years old. Name calling and the coach allowing it is ridiculous.
This year will be our last if this is the way this is going to be.
Regards,
Jonathan Davy
4) The email was forwarded to me and my response to you was less than 24 hours later,
which is also part of this thread. This email went to you, Kelly, and Coach Mike Burton:
On Sep 26, 2023, at 2:31 PM, Terry Olsen <terry@citysctemecula.com> wrote:
Jonathan,
Thank you for the email regarding your son, Matthew, and his BU10 team coached by Mike Burton.
It is always our first priority as parents, coaches, and organization to make sure our players have the best possible experience while with us.
This extends to the field and off the field.
I am concerned that Matthew feels he is being bullied and I want to put a swift end to it. I have cc'd Coach Mike on this email, and I want to
propose you meet before the next training session and share your feedback with him and discuss ways to stop this. As a coach, it is always
difficult to see and hear everything that goes on on the field. Coach Mike is a veteran coach and will make sure this issue will be resolved and
Matthew can go on enjoying his time at training and during games.
If you have any feedback after you meet, please reach out to me.
Regards,
Terry Olsen
Executive Director, City SC
5) Your response to my email and initial plan of action was as follows:
Terry,
Thanks for cc’ing the world.
I don’t understand why it got to this point. I saw it coming weeks ago when I attended a practice and heard things being said.
I emailed Kelly weeks ago.
Now it’s going to be an awful experience for Matthew and now for us as parents.
Why should we even continue at this point?
I’m in Chicago this week for work. There will be no meeting before Saturdays game.
It is what it is at this point. All those kids know each other and say stuff to Matthew that is unacceptable. I tried to come to you guys as
representatives confidentially but here we are…
Matthew enjoyed playing until this year. Coach may not like what I have to say but it’s the truth.
I just want my son to be happy playing a sport that he loves.
Jonathan Davy
3
6) Coach Mike Burton replied to the email, as he was cc'd, immediately:
Mr. Davy.
I have not heard any name calling towards any player. Here is what I saw yesterday. The players were involved in a training drill. The side
Matthew was on lost. Matthew was upset and went off the field and sat down and would not participate anymore. This is not the first time
that has happened. I have talked to Matthew about that and told him quitting hurts the team and the team needs him. No other parent has
said anything about name calling. As for all the players being previous friends that is not the case.
Over the past 5 seasons I have coached 3 of the players before but for no more than 1 season except for one player who was with each
grandson once so any friendships that came through soccer I coached is limited to that. Matthew seems to get very emotional when things do
not go his way. I again have tried to explain to him that he is important to the team so they need him to keep playing and not quit even at
practice. I don't know if a parent being on the sideline would be helpful for him or not. As parents, you know that better than I. I will listen
and watch for interactions between the players as I have been doing. Please contact me with any comments or questions.
Thanks
7) Your response to Coach Mike:
Mike,
They’ve said things at practice from what he’s telling me. Matthew is not a liar.. They’re young kids trying to figure life out at this age so
when things get said he gets emotional. Do I like it? Nope. But as parents and a youth coach(I’ve coached youth basketball many years) we
have to guide them. I appreciate you for trying with him but maybe you’re not seeing the whole picture..
Just because you don’t hear it, doesn’t mean it’s not being done. That’s why Matthew quits. Something is being said that triggers him. He said
Jackson and the other goalie are the ones saying things to him. Just listen for it is all I’m asking. That’s why I contacted Kelly. I saw this
coming.
I’ve instructed Matthew to show up and shut up if he wants to continue. If he pouts, bench him.
Regards,
Jonathan Davy
8) That leaves us with your email which has brought us together this time.
Terry,
I called last week, left an VM and still no response. At this point I blame you guys as an organization for lack of communication as well as lack
of support towards bullying and mental health for these kids.
A little about me.. I own and host the Lux Hill Gang Podcast with over 70k monthly subscribers and over 2.5 million downloads. We support
and are partners of the city of Lake Elsinore(I’ll be sure to mention this to city council and the chamber), partners with the Lake Elsinore
Storm and sponsor many small businesses as well as youth sports in the surrounding areas.
https://www.pressenterprise.com/2022/09/29/lux-hills-gang-podcast-cultivates-huge-family-in-lake-elsinore/amp/
At this point I feel you guys DO NOT care so I will be sure to bring this up on our show to let other parents in the area know about my
situation and the way this is handled. I waited and tried multiple times before getting to this point.
I’m beyond frustrated and disappointed with this organization.
Regards,
Jonathan Davy
Here we are - 9 days after you first reported bullying to us and with detailed responses
from the organization and from the coach. The claim that you have waited and tried
multiple times without a response from anyone is false.
I asked for 1) a personal meeting before a training session last week to get the adults
together to come up with an action plan, but you declined, 2) the coach offered
thoughtful feedback, a solution, and invited an open dialogue to keep an eye out for
issues, but you are not interested.
4
Please help us help you.
Regards,
Terry Olsen
Executive Director, City SC
ph. (951) 294-0659
e. terry@citysclakeelsinore.com